Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Barack Hussein Obama is the Messiah

I have to admit it. I was wrong. I have come to my senses. Obama is right, and I am wrong. We need government run healthcare, we need tougher environmental laws and regulations. We need to allow anyone that wants to come to this country to be allowed to come in. If fact, the government doesn't do enough for us. It really doesn't as most people are feckless and need the government's help, including myself. In fact without the government and Barack, I am nothing.

I came to these conclusions on my ride home today. I mean, why am I such an unhappy cud? Why can't I be happy like Frank Rich, Tom Friedman, David Brooks, Paul Krugman and even Bill Ayers? What about Maureen Dowd, I mean she is so happy and hot. It's not fair. Then it hit me. It's because I fight too much and don't try to get along with my fellow man. I am in contention with everyone and if I just went along with things, if I just realized that they are right, and I am wrong, I would be a lot happier.

I mean, look at how happy these guys are. They are wealthy, well off, and still help their fellow man. It has to be because of their belief that Barack Hussein Obama is The One, no? How else could it be? I really think the GOP has it wrong. We have become the party of no. If we only learned to get along and do what everyone else wanted, we would be happier. I mean, how much money do we really need? How much time do we really need? It's nothing off my back if I dedicate half my life in time and work for my fellow man, no? Other people need it more than I do and what would I do with it anyway?

So this is it, Barack Hussein Obama must be the Messiah. He's got to be. We really need him. Haven't you seen the happy elementary school children sing about him? I mean if innocent little kids believe it, they have to be right. Kids are so naturally good, that they have to be right about this, and why wouldn't I want to be as happy as they are? I do. Really. It's a blessing.

So today, I confess that I have been wrong all along. That Barack really is the Messiah we've been waiting for and that he's going to make things better for us. If only my friends on the right would have the epiphany I have, they'd be a lot happier too.

Brought to you by the letter A.

Thank you for reading this blog.


RightKlik said...

I'm glad you've finally come to your senses.

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm

Teresa said...

It sounds good that you've come to your senses. Good one! April Fools!

Anonymous said...

Well, you don't know much about Deism, but you have no rivals in the field of satire, Mr. Right Guy. hahahaa

That's an inside joke, folks.

And by the way, the aforementioned "happy people" are about as happy as hogs that haven't been fed in two weeks.

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